Invitations & Save the Dates
When to Send Save-the-Dates and Wedding Invitations
You have the venue. You have the date. Maybe you've even caught yourself doodling your new monogram on a grocery list. Now comes the question almost every couple asks next: when do we actually tell everyone?
Wedding stationery gets so much easier once you stop counting backward from the wedding day. There's another date hiding in your contracts that matters more, and most couples don't notice it until it's breathing down their necks.
Below, we'll show you which date that is, when each piece should go out, and a full sample calendar you can borrow for your own wedding.
When should you send save-the-dates and invitations?
The date that matters most probably isn't your wedding date at all. It's your caterer's final headcount date, the day they need to know exactly how many people they're feeding. Every other send date works backward from that one.
Here's the countdown we recommend:
Save-the-dates
12 to 18
months before
Time to book flights, rooms and time off.
No one traveling? 6 to 12 months.
Invitations
9 to 12
weeks before
Room for the mail, real replies and a few nudges.
RSVP deadline
10 to 14
days before your caterer's headcount date
Your buffer for chasing quiet guests.
Caterer headcount
2 to 4
weeks out, often
Check your contract. This date sets everything else.
The save-the-date runs on its own clock, because it's about giving guests time to plan. The invitation, the RSVP deadline and the headcount are one connected chain, and that chain is where couples get squeezed.
How early should save-the-dates go out?
If guests will fly in, book hotel rooms or take time off work, send save-the-dates 12 to 18 months ahead. Coming to a wedding often asks more of a guest than a weekend away does, and the earlier they know, the easier it is to say yes.
Guests rarely mind hearing early. They mind hearing late, after fares have climbed, the hotel near the venue is full, and their vacation days are already spoken for. If your venue is booked and your list is settled, there's no reason to sit on the date.
If everyone lives within driving distance, 6 to 12 months is plenty. A local guest mostly needs to keep the Saturday clear, not plan a trip.
A few things to know before you hit send:
- A save-the-date makes your guest list official. Everyone who gets one should also get an invitation. Still debating a few names? Give yourself another week or two. A slightly later save-the-date is much easier than walking one back.
- One per household is enough. A couple who lives together, or a family under one roof, shares a single card.
- You can skip it entirely if the wedding is less than about four months away, or if it's small and every guest already knows the date. In both cases the invitation can do both jobs.
Why invitations go out 9 to 12 weeks before
Six to eight weeks sounds like plenty of time until you account for the mail, your guests, and the handful of people you'll inevitably have to text twice.
Start with your caterer's headcount date and count backward:
- Your caterer's deadline. Some want the count two weeks out. Others want 30 days, especially when the final payment is tied to it. Look for the exact date in your contract before you plan anything else.
- 10 to 14 days to follow up. Someone always forgets to reply, and chasing them takes longer than you'd think.
- Three to four weeks for guests to answer. People need time to check calendars, ask about time off and talk it over with a partner.
- About a week for the mail. If you're mailing paper, give it about a week to arrive, with a little breathing room for the invitations that take the scenic route.
Add those up against a 30-day caterer deadline and you land at about 11 weeks. Send at six weeks instead, and you'd have about 12 days to cover the mail, the replies and the follow-ups. That's not enough time for any one of them, let alone all three.
With a two-week caterer deadline, the same math lands at about nine weeks. That's where our range comes from, and why we lean toward the 12-week end. A few extra days of slack is worth far more than a few extra days of suspense.
Send every invitation on the same day. Mailing in waves invites the awkward question of who was asked first. If you're still working out what the card should say, our invitation wording examples will help.
Where should your RSVP deadline fall?
Set it 10 to 14 days before your caterer's headcount date. If you're inviting 100 guests or more, take the full two weeks.
That buffer isn't wasted time. It's where Aunt Carol's forgotten reply, your college roommate's plus-one and the cousin who changed their mind all get sorted out. A short, friendly text usually does the trick, and our guide to RSVP wording and deadlines has a follow-up plan with texts you can send.
Hosting more than one event, like a welcome dinner or a Sunday brunch? Collect replies for each one separately, so every count stays accurate and no vendor ends up guessing.
A worked example: June 10, 2028
Here's the whole plan for a wedding on Saturday, June 10, 2028, with guests flying in and a caterer who needs the final count 30 days out.
Dec 10, 2026 to Jun 10, 2027
Send save-the-dates
18 to 12 months before, once the guest list feels settled.
By mid-March 2028
Invitations ready
Designed, and printed and addressed if you're mailing paper.
Mar 18 to Mar 25, 2028
Send invitations
12 to 11 weeks before, all on the same day.
Thu, Apr 27, 2028
RSVP deadline
Two weeks before the caterer needs a number.
Apr 28 to May 10, 2028
Follow up
Friendly texts to anyone you haven't heard from.
Thu, May 11, 2028
Final headcount to your caterer
30 days out, with every reply in hand.
If your caterer only needs two weeks, everything from the invitation onward can slide about two weeks later. Sketch your own version the day you sign your catering contract. It takes five minutes, and it keeps every step from sneaking up on you.
Does sending digitally change the timeline?
Not for your guests. They still need months of notice to plan travel, and a few weeks to reply.
What changes is everything before the send. Printed stationery needs proofs, printing, addressing, stamps and time in the mail. A digital save-the-date or invitation can be finished and shared the same afternoon, and replies arrive without a return envelope.
Mailing paper? Weigh one fully assembled invitation at the post office before you buy stamps. Square envelopes, rigid cards and lumpy wax seals often need extra postage.
Plenty of couples mix formats: a digital save-the-date for everyone, then printed invitations, or paper for the grandparents and a link for everyone else. Any mix works, as long as every guest gets the same information on the same schedule.
Running behind?
Behind schedule? You still have options. The goal is to shorten the process without making your guests do the scrambling.
Less than four months out, drop the save-the-date and send invitations as soon as they're ready. Inside nine weeks, send right away, call your caterer to confirm their real deadline, and reach out personally to anyone who needs to book travel. This is where digital earns its keep: nothing has to be printed or mailed, so you can send today and start collecting replies tonight.
Start with your caterer's date
So here's your homework, and it's the fun kind. Find the headcount date in your catering contract, count backward, and put your two send dates on the calendar. Then send your save-the-dates as soon as your guest list feels settled, even if that's a year and a half away. Your guests will thank you!
When you're ready to make the first one, pick a design, add your details and share it by text from your phone. Guests reply right from the card, and the same design carries into your invitation and wedding website, so you never start from scratch. Create your save-the-date with Vowfly, free.